


Forgive Me

by Cat16



Series: Nerve Anna [2]
Category: Nirvana (Band)
Genre: :(, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Overdosing, Sad Ending, Self-Harm, but merry (not) Christmas I guess, sorry - Freeform, this is the saddest thing ive ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:47:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28336416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat16/pseuds/Cat16
Summary: He jerked upright and fumbled around for several moments before his mind snapped horribly back to reality and his throat constricted with pain, his chest aching so bad he thought he might die.Because Kurt was gone.TW:- Drug Use- Overdosing- Suicide- Self-Harm
Relationships: Kurt Cobain/Dave Grohl
Series: Nerve Anna [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091555
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Forgive Me

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Don't Open That Door](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10850913) by [Sailorhathor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailorhathor/pseuds/Sailorhathor). 



> Oh shit. This was supposed to be you guys’ Christmas present and it got really sad
> 
> Sorry
> 
> I wrote this after I read a sad part in Don’t Open That Door by Sailorhathor

Dave woke from a dreamless sleep, but only just, mind still fogged with tendrils of darkness as he rolled onto his stomach. He instinctively moved his arm back over Kurt, pulling him closer and hugging him to his chest. Kurt grunted quietly but didn’t wake, burrowing into Dave and pressing his face to his chest. 

Dave did dream now, about a strange assortment of half memories and fantasies. Most involved Kurt and those made him smile. About secret kisses backstage before or after a show, about clinging to each other in the cold darkness of the tour van, Krist huddled beside them, some half asleep roadie at the wheel, about Kurt’s excited face when someone came up to gush about their record, the face that slowly morphed into exhaustion. The dreams turned bad then, with him knocking on Kurt’s door and when it was opened, seeing the sullen and lifeless eyes of an addict on his next fix. About when he knocked and Kurt didn’t answer and he pounded the door with his shoulder until the latch gave way and he tumbled inside and found Kurt half dead on the floor of his bathroom, several syringes littering the tiles beside dots of blood, and a larger pool.

Dave had dropped to his knees beside Kurt, at first not registering the barely-there rise and fall of his chest. When he’d placed his hand fervently on Kurt’s cheek he’d felt the fluttering and irregular heartbeat and immediately sprung back into action, shaking Kurt and screaming.

Pleading.

He’d had tears streaming from his eyes, dripping down to mix with the blood still slowly seeping from several cuts along Kurt’s left forearm. He’d splashed water on Kurt’s face, hit him in various places and kept screaming all the while. His heart felt as though it melted when Kurt’s eyes fluttered open and he’d convulsed violently, immediately throwing his guts up, onto Dave’s knee and the tiled floor. Dave didn’t care. Kurt was alive. He was sick and messed up and addicted. But alive. He’d cried again and hugged a confused and still very much high Kurt to his chest, hauling him out of his house to his car and driving as fast as he could to the hospital.

He’d had to carry Kurt inside and they’d immediately rushed him to emergency and asked Dave many questions when all Kurt could offer was incoherent mumbles and another round of useless throwing up that only succeeded in making his stomach heave and his throat burn with the vile taste of stomach acid, not that he noticed. They’d hooked him up to a drip and asked Dave to leave the room, letting up when he pleaded with them, not wanting to leave Kurt’s side for a second. He watched numbly as they worked and Kurt slipped in and out of consciousness. Dave stood and walked to the front desk, asking to borrow the phone and immediately dialling Krist.

Fifteen minutes later and he and Krist were standing outside the room Kurt was in, Krist pacing and Dave tapping his foot anxiously. When a nurse opened the door to allow them back in they practically fell over each other and stopped beside Kurt’s bed. 

Kurt’s eyes blinked open, squinting up at Krist and Dave. Both looked exhausted, Dave’s eyes red from crying and Krist’s brow furrowed with concern. Dave had dived down to kiss Kurt who almost pulled back with surprise, but instead kissed back slowly, bringing his hand up to the back of Dave’s head, careful not to tangle the drip connected to it. When Dave finally wrenched himself away Krist moved into his place and hugged Kurt fiercely. Then Krist sighed and stood, looking sadly down at Kurt as he promised to come off the heroin and every other drug he’d tried over the years. Dave knew it was empty and so did Krist, but they nodded as tears slipped down Kurt’s cheeks, littered with sores and various small nicks from when he could barely be bothered to even shave.

—

Dave woke again to find he’d rolled away from Kurt and when he moved back, the bed was cold. He jerked upright and fumbled around for several moments before his mind snapped horribly back to reality and his throat constricted with pain, his chest aching so bad he thought he might die. 

Because Kurt was gone.

Because it was April 9th, 1994..

Because he wasn’t coming back.

Because four days ago he’d ended everything.

Because he’d selfishly shot himself.

Because he never cared at all.

Dave had to make himself believe it. It healed the gut-wrenching pain that was every night without him. It made life continue on, even as the world seemed to crumble around him. Maybe that was how Kurt felt all along. And then Dave cried, and he considered joining the love of his life. Then reconsidered and his mind was torn between realities and he collapsed back to the bed, choking on his own sadness and pain and loneliness. He hated Kurt. He really did. He wished he could punch him and knew Kurt deserved it. But it still hurt and Dave still missed him more than he could even comprehend.

Because Kurt was gone.

**Author's Note:**

> Well..
> 
> My Tumblr is crazycat1606 I’d appreciate for y’all to send requests I don’t have unlimited ideas unfortunately. Take a look at the pinned post for rules! I’m pretty open there’s just a few things I won’t write, and best of all... REQUESTS ARE FREE!


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